Londoners have a convention of standing on the left, or walking on the right when using escalators.
Whilst using an escalator you may find that you need to change sides, either to rest your aching feet or sprint to the finish. When you do this, you should immediately cross over to the other side without looking behind you, making other people dive out the way.
These days, every modern mobile phone has music playing capabilities. There is no better way to appreciate music than through a tiny mobile phone speaker. You will find that you can improve your phone’s bass reproduction by turning up the volume as much as possible.
Most people on public transport are music lovers and will therefore be delighted to participate in your public music sharing. For this reason, it is certainly unnecessary to invest in a pair of decent headphones.
When fortunate enough to bag a seat on a train or bus, you should pretend to be asleep or so utterly engrossed in your book/newspaper that you fail to notice the standing elderly people and heavily pregnant women.
If you do notice, you should not make eye contact under any circumstances. If you don’t make eye contact they won’t know that you’ve noticed them, thus excusing you from needing to feel guilty.
Eventually, some other kind-hearted soul might give up their seat. If this happens, you may feel suitably smug that you have kept your seat and no longer need to feel guilty.