When mashed out of your mind you should wander around a station asking people for convincingly odd amounts of change, like 96p for example.

Even though the train fare is £1.50, and the ticket machine doesn’t accept copper coins.

To increase your chances, you should also explain that you’ve left your travel card at home. Of course, if you had genuinely left your card at home, you could already have walked a couple of miles in the time you’ve taken to stagger around the station asking for money.